Does it get easier??

This question has been asked over and over this past year.  I remember asking it of a mom who had lost her son 4 years before James passed.  She told me it didn't.  That made me sad.  The hurt and pain was so overwhelming I couldn't imagine it not easing just a little.

I have now come up with what I feel is my perfect response to my grief.  No, it doesn't get easier...but you get stronger!  I like how that feels!  Is the pain still there~yes!  Do I miss him everyday~Yes!  Do I wish he was still here~yes.

I can look back and see some of the lessons I have learned.  I can think of so many miracles that happened to help us get through that time in our life.  I can think of how close I felt to the Savior.   I have learned now that I want my family to be together forever.  It is the driving force that moves me through the day.  I see life and love so differently, there is an eternal glaze to everything.  I have learned that the Savior knows me and my pain personally.  I know He has lifted me many times when it was to hard to bear and He will do it again.  I know that James lives, I know he is taking care of our family on the other side.  I know that I see people differently, everyone hurts and needs love.  I am learning to give that more freely.

I have started thinking of life as a test~either you pass or fail.  Each time I come up against an obstacle I think, am I going to go closer to my Savior or further away.  It makes the decisions easier to make.  The effort backed u by a bigger purpose.

Today I am feeling so strong.  The memories are sweet and bring a smile to my face.  James feels close lately and I am glad to feel him near.  I ache to hold him and laugh with him again, but that will come soon enough if I learn what I am supposed to do hear and do it well!!  So in the words of James's favorite song...Be Strong and of good courage.  Be not afraid, stand firm in the Faith.  For the Lord will be with thee , and when you stand for something right and stand alone. Remember someone else stands by you in our Heavenly home so Be His!  Be One! Be Strong!