James's eighth B-day

I am so grateful for everyday I got to spend with my son James.  I am thankful for the good memories and the not so good.  The good, I treasure and hold onto till I can see him again.  The not so good because  I know I am still here to learn and the quicker I learn my lesson the sooner I can see him again! 

I am grateful for the example he was to me.  I remember his kindness to others.  He loved people.  He thoughts of others all the time.  He payed attention to them.  He noticed things and would comment on them.    I think people felt special by the way he treated them.  I would watch him interact with people and have a little smile on my face because he was so darn cute and sweet. 

I remember how everything in life was Awesome!   You could give him something silly and small and it was AWSOME!  Especially food, food was awesome!  We were remembering the day we got the new microwave.  Joe put it in while the kids were sleeping.  James woke up the next morning and came into the kitchen.  “Ohhhh we have a new microwave, that’s Awesome!  Where did we get it dad?”  Joe replied seriously,” The microwave fairy brought it James.”   “Ohhh the microwave fairy, THANK YOU microwave fairy, thank you!!!”  So sweet to the microwave fairy.  It brings a smile to my face often when I am using our gift from the microwave fairy.

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 I miss scratching his back in church.  He would go limp with a smile on his face.  He would relax for the whole hour and be so good in church as long as we were scratching his back.  I miss scratching his back during church.

I miss waking up in the morning and having his face right next to mine, watching me waiting for me to open my eyes, and his, ”Hi mom!”  I would grab him and huggle with him for a while.  He loved to huggle.  I miss his little warm body next to mine, and being able to kiss and hug on my little boy.  He was so ticklish, he would always squeal with laughter when I’d tickle him.    

I am grateful for his example of selflessness.  Like any mom you try and teach your kids to share.  Well I remember James and Grace playing and Grace was not sharing.  I was talking to her trying to get her to share.  James said,”  It’s okay mom, I changed my mind she can play with it.”  I remember he did that with Spencer to.  He would always change his mind so the other could have what they wanted.  He was also willing to play what the other wanted to play.  With Spencer it was Star wars.  With Grace he would play dress ups.  He would play games with me.  One of my favorite was the weekend before he passed away.  We had a family game night.  We were sitting on the floor playing uno and he got a draw 4.  In a very dramatic growl with a huge smile on his face….he counted ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR… we all started laughing. 

I miss his singing.  He would sing so loud all the time.   He wasn’t necessarily the best singer but he would sing with his heart and soul.  I remember the primary program when he was singing.  He was one of the loudest except when he was taking off his clothes.  He would stop to take off his coat, tie, and shoes and socks, then his teacher would help him put it back on and then he would sing at the top of his lungs again.  So cute. 

I miss his smile and twinkle in his eye.  I just miss him…..I love you my Jamie James.  Happy birthday my sweet angel!!